The past month has been a whirlwind. It's just so funny to me how comfortable you can be in a situation before life picks you up and whisks you away, setting you down in a whole new environment and saying, "Ready....action!"
And sure, it's not like all of these things just happen. Whether you're moving cities or taking a new job (or both), it takes hard work and emotional stress and time. But the funny part is, when we go through a big decision like that, we have this wild notion that every step is in our control. Yeah, right. I loved my job in St. Louis. Did I plan on staying there forever, living with my parents and never leaving my hometown? Of course not. But toward the end of March (my half birthday...lol), I got an extra push. I went from intently focusing on several assignments due that day, fingers typing away, eyes glued to the screen...to getting laid off. There really was no transition. It was me and almost a quarter of the company that, due to a major downsizing, found ourselves packing our stuff and walking out for the last time. Naturally, I went straight to the nail salon and got myself a manicure. I wanted to tell the manicurist about my crazy day, but her English was minimal. I imagined how the conversation would go in that suburban salon: "I got laid off...you know, like fired." "You were on FIRE?!" No thanks. So I stayed quiet. It was a weird feeling, but I knew I'd be fine. This was my push. Now all I needed was the shove. I interviewed with a couple big ad agencies - the kind that would have been my dream to work for a couple years or even months ago. One was an agency in D.C. that specializes in progressive politics and nonprofits (um, awesome). The place seemed legit. The title sounded badass. But I sent them an email mid-April saying I was no longer flying in for a final interview. Why? Because I had a gut feeling about this cool mattress company in New York, that's why. It was a little more than that, but I'll spare you the details. The point is, I'm a big believer in listening to your gut. And your heart and your brain. And your parents. And Glassdoor reviews. And the person telling you how much you're getting paid – that's important too. Two weeks later, I took my cat and the clothes on my back and headed out to NYC. Just kidding, I filled my car to the brim and drove half the distance, to an Airbnb in Columbus, OH. Our temporary home was great – I love using Airbnb every chance I get – but it was pretty funny staying in one with my cat. Ali agreed. She let me know by flipping over her entire litter box on the beautiful hardwood floor. Twice. Eventually, we made it. And suddenly we're going about our daily lives in a whole new routine as if it's been this way forever. In the mornings, I leave our apartment in South Plainfield, NJ, drive to the commuter parking lot, wait for the shuttle, take the shuttle to the train station, wait for the train, take the train to New York Penn Station, walk some more, take the elevator to the 11th floor and viola – almost 2 hours later I'm at work. But I'm not complaining. The commute is part of this life I signed up for (or did life sign me up for the commute?). Either way, I'm crazy happy with my job at Casper. And I'm crazy happy living with Scott. I can't even explain how many times in the past year, living in St. Louis, I felt like I wasn't my whole self. Does that makes sense? I felt like I was on a constant winter break from college, only I went to work eight hours a day, too. I knew I wanted to get out – I had always aimed for Colorado. But when Scott got into a rotational program through his work that places him in different cities for the next three years...my focus got blurry. I realized this whole long distance thing wasn't ending anytime soon. And if I wanted to learn what it's like to really be with him, plus push my career forward and satisfy my craving to venture outside of Missouri, I was going to need to take action. My half-birthday surprise was the push. My offer from Casper was the shove. And everything in between was a nice combination of solid effort and pointless worrying. Did I mention the day I got that offer I danced around my house, picked up my cat and spun her around saying, "Mommy got a job!"? Probably not, because that's kind of embarrassing. But also very true. It all came together. All those nights in St. Louis worrying about which job would work out, or which city should I pick, or how am I going to do this, or how can I save my long-distance relationship – they're all over. And I am so appreciative to be where I'm at right now. Ali is, too (she's on my lap). I'm excited to be a New York working woman, a wanderer, an amateur photographer, a writer, a cat mom, a friend and a girlfriend here. Most importantly, I'm excited to be Renée – to embrace my whole self in this new city. I'm not on some extended winter break anymore. This is my new life, and I'm ready for it.
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June 2016
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